Courage, Willow!

Willow is both the name of a movie and it's title character. In brief summary (courtesy of IMDB) "Willow, a small farmer/apprentice magician, meets Madmartigan, a great swordsman, and together they journey through a war-torn land of magic and monsters, to save a baby princess from death at the hands of an evil queen. "

At a crucial point of the movie, Willow says to himself "Courage, Willow!"  He spoke to encourage his heart - to continue on the path he knew was right.  He was (rightfully so) terrified.  But he chose to continue on.

The first two months of 2011 have felt like a build-up to something.  A couple of weeks ago, I told my counselor - "I feel trapped."  And then proceeded to cry for an hour in his office.  Today, I'm on the other side of that feeling.  Looking back I realized a couple of things:

1)  Change was coming and I was terrified
2)  Choices were coming that I didn't want to make
3)  I believe a lie that I can keep myself safe - I can control the change that happens to me

At this point, most of the actual changes coming into my life are in the future.  However, I am now reconciled to them.  More than that, I am excited about what's coming next.  I feel like I'm ready for the next chapter or adventure that is in store for me.  I'm trusting in Hands bigger and stronger than mine that He knows what's ahead and it's good (but maybe not easy). More details to come in future posts.

Two things I can talk about are: smoking and boys.  DON'T LAUGH!!

I've been smoking for 12 years now.  It's not something I'm proud of - but I don't carry shame either (most of the time).  Smoking is something I have enjoyed - it brings me comfort and a form of peace.  Some of my best ideas have come while smoking.  I've tried to quit many times, but I really believe this time is different.  One, because I do feel ready and willing to be free of how it controls me.  Two, the tool I am using.  I bought an electronic cigarette.  It's taken a week to get used to the taste.  And let's face it, while very similar - it's not exactly the same.  I've already cut my regular smoking to less than 1/2.  And now it's time to set a stop date (for regular cigarettes).  I'll make it right now and you can all ask me about it and encourage me in the meantime - February 27th. 

Finally, one of my goals for the year is to meet some single people - and more specifically men.  I have not dated since college (a very long time).  Can you say "TERRIFIED"?  So, the first step I chose in accomplishing this goal was to join a MeetUp group.  I had my first outing this last Friday.  We went bowling and I met some great people.  Best of all, even with my stomach cramping from the stress, I did feel like I was myself.  I asked questions AND talked about myself.  Next time will be even easier - right?

Thank you for reading!  I would really enjoy hearing your own tales of courage.  Feel free to email or comment!