Bless the Lord O my soul
And all that is within me, bless His holy name
...
Who redeems your life from the pit
And crowns you with love and compassion
Psalm 103
My mom uses the word "pit" in many ways. The word can be used as a short version of arm pit ("Do your pits stink?") or a messy bedroom ("How do you live in this pit?") or a crappy life circumstance. I memorized the Bible verses above over 10 years ago. Whenever I have a hard time falling asleep, I say those verses. They cause me to remember that I am loved by Love. And that I have much to be thankful for.
Tomorrow I start my new job at Amazon. Three weeks ago, I jumped off a figurative cliff - leaving a secure job - with no safety net. While I believed I was walking in the freedom God created us for, I didn't know the outcome. There is nothing about me that deserves a job more than someone who's been looking for over a year. I am humbled by the grace and love I've been shown.
Not every person gets to change their circumstances. Over the last three weeks, I've been reminded of how much freedom I have in the choices I can make. I don't have a family to be responsible for. I don't have children to put first. While a large part of my heart aches for these relationships, I recognize the blessing that is my life.
The last six months I have felt like I was in a pit. I felt trapped in my life circumstances. Part of it was my job, but that wasn't all of it. I have been focused on what I didn't have - relationships, family, respect, recognition. The pit of self-pity is one I happen to spend much time in. Today I feel like I'm out of the pit. I have felt loved and showered with compassion. My friends are truly excited and encouraging in what is coming next for me. I'm blessed through each of you!
Can I say, I'm a little scared of what changes are coming my way? A new job in a big city with new people.....it feels like one change will result in many more. But this I can say. I've survived and grown through many life changes. Ultimately, I am blessed because of who I am, who I am loved by and Who I belong to.
